Do You Have Soul Friends? (Proverbs 27:5-6)
Listen Here:
Proverbs 27:5-6
Better is open rebuke
than hidden love.
6 Faithful are the wounds of a friend;
profuse are the kisses of an enemy.
We’ve talked a lot about real friends here lately, and today we continue the trend. Today we see a characteristic all real friends share: Man they aren’t afraid to rebuke and correct you.
Who is the friend who will be a real blessing to your soul? Is it the one who constantly gasses you up and boosts your ego? No. True friends are soul friends – the ones who care most deeply about your soul and your walk with the Lord. Because of that, they’re not afraid to step in and check you when your heart and character need correction.
I think that's saying something powerful and carries great weight in the pampering culture we share in today. It’s very rare to come across someone who will tell you what you need to hear rather than what you want to hear. But that’s what true love looks like, and so many miss out on it in their friendships.
‘Better is open rebuke than hidden love’
It’s far better, in fact it's MORE loving (not less), to correct someone in need of correction rather than to sweep it under the rug. In fact, sweeping someone’s pattern of sin under the rug, something that is impacting their relationship with the Lord in a negative way, man that’s the worst thing you could do for them. That’s not love at all.
Hidden love (as theologian Bruce Waltke describes it) is like winking at a girl in the dark; it does neither her nor you any good.
All of this is why I like to call these friends 'Soul Friends.'
Soul friends belong above all to Team Jesus, not Team You.
They care about your spiritual health more than your comfort, and frankly more than theirs comfort too – because giving rebuke is often just as hard as receiving it. Those convos are hard to have, but to have friends willing to have them – these are the kind of friends who prioritize your walk with Christ, no matter how awkward or uncomfortable the conversation might be. You want those kinds of friends.
At the end of the day I don’t think we need friends in our lives that are ‘on our team’ so much as they are on the Lord’s. I don’t need my circle to be team Luke; I need them to be team Jesus, and of course in being Team Jesus they’ll also be Team Luke, but that distinction breeds the kind of love we see in these verses.
Why? Because allegiance to Christ always comes first. And when He does you’ll be willing to say the hard things to someone who needs to hear it, to rebuke and wound for the purpose of proper intimacy and relationship with God. That’s true friendship.
Now quickly looking at the end of our verses today, let’s talk about the ‘profuse kisses of an enemy’. I think that’s important as it shows us a common pattern with enemies, and dare I say ‘fake friends’. Look at Judas, a literal example of someone kissing Jesus right before serving Him up to be crucified.
If anything the constant flattery from a so-called ‘friend’ can be a loud LOUD alarm to tell you they actually aren’t a real friend at all! It could show you they are more like Judas than Jesus.
Here’s why all of this matters: I am a poor and needy soul. I’m a sinner prone to wander, with a wayward will and a blinded heart. I don’t need friends who flatter me into spiritual complacency. I need friends who will lovingly confront me with truth—friends who care enough to watch over me with open rebuke rather than puffing up my ego.
I need people who will make me embrace the rod of discipline, like we talked about in Proverbs 22:15, rather than fall for the rod of flattery.
I want you to reflect on this verse and ask yourself:
Are there people in my life that will rebuke me openly?
Is my circle chiefly ‘Team Me’ or ‘Team Jesus’?
Do I have and/or am I a soul friend who lovingly challenges me to grow in Christ?
Of course we must close by reminding ourselves of our Lord Jesus Christ, who, as Isaiah 53:5 reminds us
"was pierced for our transgressions…crushed for our iniquities… and with his wounds we are healed."
By His wounds we are healed. I love that.
Let’s pray.
