The Dangers of Loose Lips and Gossiping Friends (Proverbs 20:19)
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Proverbs 20:19
Whoever goes about slandering reveals secrets;
therefore do not associate with a simple babbler.
Today’s verse is similar to Proverbs 11:13 from yesterday, having the same first half, yet finishing with a different tone. Yesterday’s verse pointed to the friend who is trustworthy in spirit, someone who keeps a thing covered. This verse today, however, encourages us not to be friends with the one who reveals secrets.
It’s a good rule of thumb: if someone is quick to talk to you about others, they will be quick to talk to others about you.
It’s not wise to associate with someone who goes about revealing secrets. And the best way you can discern whether someone is a revealer of secrets is if they reveal others’ secrets to you.
In comparing Proverbs 20:19 to Proverbs 11:13 from yesterday, theologian Bruce Waltke says this:
‘Moreover, (Proverbs) 11:13 is antithetic, contrasting the betrayer with the one who speaks discreetly from a faithful spirit, but (Proverbs) 20:19 is synonymous, equating 'the slanderer who divulges secrets' with a 'silly chatterer' — that is, one who handles words in a careless, not thoughtful and unguarded way.’
I really like that phrase – "handles words carelessly." It makes me think of a loaded paintbrush in the hands of a toddler. Imagine that for a second. Mess everywhere. A careless talker is like that – they don’t realize the damage they’re doing.
That’s not the kind of company you want to keep. It's not wise to associate with someone who makes a habit and practice of gossip.
Given the Proverbs we’ve looked at this week, it's easy to see why. Gossip is destructive and powerful, and it’s also very alluring. It’s contagious, and the more you’re around it, the harder it becomes to abstain from it – the easier it is to throw wood, not water, on the flames of contention.
So how do we respond to a verse like this?
First, look inward. Are you handling words carelessly? Are you the “simple babbler” in this verse?
Second, look upward. We all fall short in our words – whether in gossip, slander, or carelessness. But Jesus never did. He never spoke words to tear down, only to build up. And when we’ve failed in our speech, He offers grace. His words heal where ours harm.
Third, look around. Who are you surrounding yourself with? Are your friendships leading you toward the wisdom and love of Christ or toward gossip?
Let’s pray.
