The Self-Control Paradox (Proverbs 25:28)
Listen Here:
Proverbs 25:28
A man without self-control
is like a city broken into and left without walls.
Whenever you’re reading Scripture and you see a verse that touches on the fruit of the Spirit – even indirectly – I think it’s a cause for pause. This is one of those verses.
Self-control doesn’t get a lot of airtime, but I’ll tell you – it’s crucial to the character of a Christian. And this proverb paints a vivid picture of why. I love that this verse gives such a beautiful picture of the great strength found in self-control by showing us what one looks like without it.
‘A man without self-control
is like a city broken into and left without walls.’
A city broken into and left without walls is by all means incredibly vulnerable. But it’s not just vulnerable – it’s already conquered.
Notice: it’s not just a city missing its defenses. It’s already been broken into. The enemy’s been inside. The walls are gone. The city no longer belongs to the one who built it.
Why does that matter? Because our hearts are always under siege. Something always wants to take control. And without self-control – we don’t just drift – we’re ruled. By our impulses, our lusts, our distractions, even by the enemy himself.
Think about David. One of the godliest people in Scripture – and yet in a few short days? Adultery. Deception. Murder. All from one moment of unguarded desire.
David didn’t wake up planning to ruin his life. But cracks in the wall became a breach in the heart.
That’s how quickly it can happen. And let me be honest – I’ve felt that same slippery slope in my own life. I bet you have too.
But the question then becomes: What do we do about this? Do we try harder? How does one even begin to cultivate self-control?
I think for a start it's easy to talk of 'self-control', as if the reins were in our own hands. But like I mentioned at the beginning of this devotional, they aren’t. Self-control is a fruit of the Spirit. Self-control, as paradoxical as it may sound, does not reside with you. It’s the work of the Spirit. And so where should that leave us?
Praying. It leaves us praying. I like what Charles Bridges says on this. He says: ‘On the first assault, fortify the walls by prayer. Never dare to trust the strength of the citadel. Have not repeated defeats taught us the need of calling in better strength than our own?’
The way we fortify and protect our city when under the assault of temptation – whether that be lustfully, or maybe it's someone cutting you off on the highway and you want to give them the bird – is to not rely on our own strength. It’s not to try and cultivate that or trust in that. It’s to rely on the strength and help of another, the person of Jesus Christ.
In other words, self-control isn’t about gripping the reins tighter – it’s about handing them to Jesus.
So if you’re feeling worn down… if your walls feel breached… don’t trust your own strength. Turn to His. He’s the one who walked through every temptation and never sinned. He never once lost control – even when the cross was in front of Him. That’s the strength we lean on.
So let me ask you:
Where do you feel that vulnerability in your own heart?
Where in your life are the “walls” feeling weak right now?
What would it look like to invite Jesus to fortify those places today?
Let’s take a moment to pray.
