The Honor of Staying Out of It (Proverbs 20:3)
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Proverbs 20:3
It is an honor for a man to keep aloof from strife,
but every fool will be quarreling.
Building off Proverbs 26:17 from yesterday, today’s verse gives us the same truth—but with a nobler glow. Yesterday we saw how foolish it is to enter a quarrel, but today we’re invited to see the honor in staying far from one.
This is a mark of godly maturity. Not someone who’s passive or afraid of conflict—but someone who walks away from unnecessary drama. Who doesn’t stir the pot just to see it boil. Who, like Abraham with Lot, says: “Let there be no strife between us… you choose first.” A peacemaker, not a pot-stirrer.
You know how in the sports world we debate which players are overrated or underrated? Well, I think this characteristic right here—keeping aloof from strife—is wildly underrated in the Christian community.
The ‘no-drama’ quality, if you will, is one we don't spend too much mental or physical energy on ourselves and so we are blinded by it in others as well.
But it’s worth a closer look. Paul encourages Timothy to join him in prayer that all people might lead “peaceful and quiet (lives), godly and dignified in every way.”
How often do you pray for that? Over your life? Over your kids? Your spouse? Your friends?
“It is an HONOR for a man to keep aloof from strife…”
Not a weakness. Not being a pushover. It’s an honor. This is living out what Paul says in Romans 16:19, when he commands us to be “....wise as to what is good and innocent as to what is evil.”
In a world obsessed with reaction and retaliation, where every fool is quarreling and it is not hard to find yourself in proximity to a situation of the sort, this proverb is a great reminder of the wisdom found in keeping your distance from it.
So let me ask you:
Where are you tempted to fight battles that aren’t yours to fight?
Where is God calling you to take the higher road, the quieter road—the road that looks a lot like Jesus?
Because ultimately, Jesus didn’t just stay aloof from strife — He absorbed ours. He took our quarrels, our offenses, our chaos, and made peace through the cross.
So when you choose peace over pettiness, you're not just avoiding drama, you’re walking in the honor of your Savior.
Let’s pray that God would help us to walk in the same manner in which He walked today.
