The Love We All Want (Proverbs 19:22)
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Proverbs 19:22
What is desired in a man is steadfast love,
and a poor man is better than a liar.
This verse is 100% in my starting 5 for Proverbs. I love it so so much, and the reason why I do is…well a lot of reasons, but the biggest one is that it calls out a truth in all of our lives that we can’t ignore.
What is it, you ask? Our desire for steadfast love.
Not sparks, not butterflies—steadfast love. Not just affection, but affection that anchors. A love that endures.
I tell you I’ve mentioned this verse countless times with young guys I disciple, because while Proverbs 31 gets all the dating-stage spotlight, especially in regards to qualities to look for in women (and model), Proverbs 19:22 helps out us dudes. It’s saying that one of the most desirable things in a man—really, in any human—is a love that doesn’t quit.
But here’s the tension: we all want this, and none of us can fully give it. Not forever. Not flawlessly. We make vows we can’t keep. We chase connection we can’t hold. Even the best love stories come with expiration dates. We reach for permanence with perishable hands.
And yet… we keep reaching, silly little goobers we are!
We crave what only Heaven can give and then try to find it in late-night texts, staged photos, or a look across the room. Now in a sense, I don’t blame us — that desire isn’t the problem. That ache was put there by God. It’s not wrong to want that kind of love.
But it is deadly to misplace it.
Now you might be saying, isn’t it enough to be sincere? Isn’t the pursuit of love—even if flawed—still beautiful? Sure, our longing is beautiful, but our best efforts at love are still haunted by mistakes, mishaps, and a finiteness.
We need more than sincerity — we need a Savior who embodies the love we ache for but can’t sustain.
And I know the temptation in hearing that is to shrug it off, and to pretend we’re closer to that love than we really are. Which is why I love how the Proverb closes:
“...a poor man is better than a liar”.
On the surface that seems to have no connection to the first half. What’s poverty got to do with love? But think about it: in the economy of God, honesty matters more than impression. A poor man who’s honest about his limits is more desirable than someone who lies about being steadfast.
This confronts our tendency to fake love rather than face our lack of it.
It confronts why we settle for shallow relationships, because we fear being alone more than being known.
It confronts why we say ‘I love you’ too soon, not because it’s true, but because we hope it will become true.
It confronts why we stay in unhealthy situations, because admitting it’s not love feels like failure.
We’d rather maintain the illusion of intimacy than confront the ache of its absence.
And this to me is where Jesus ought to enter…
There was no illusion to His strength, in fact He was so strong He embraced weakness.
He also didn’t lie about His love — He proved it.
On the cross, you see a love that doesn’t quit, doesn’t bluff, doesn’t run.
Jesus is the only one whose love is both steadfast and sacrificial.
He’s the one who meets our longing not just with words, but with wounds.
Not just with promises, but with a genuine, better-than-life, presence.
And in Him, the love we ache for isn’t just admired — it’s available.
And if you’re a Christian, lean into that love today. If you aren’t, can I plead with you? Please receive it!
Let’s pray.
